Why Changing Your Body Doesn’t Always Change Your Body Image
Part 2 of a 3-part series: Building a Healthier Relationship with Food & Your Body
In this series:
- Part 1: Why Your Relationship With Food Is Often Really About Your Relationship With Your Body
- Part 2: Why Changing Your Body Doesn’t Always Change Your Body Image (you’re here)
- Part 3: What Does Having a Healthy Body Image Actually Look Like?
Why Changing Your Body Doesn’t Always Change Your Body Image
As I discussed in my last article, Why Your Relationship With Food Is Often Really About Your Relationship With Your Body, many people believe the best way to feel better about their body is to change it.
It’s easy to see why.
We live in a culture that constantly tells us that thinner bodies are happier, more confident, more desirable, and more worthy of love. We see this message in movies, social media, advertising, clothing stores, wellness culture, and sometimes even in healthcare settings. Fat people are often judged as lazy or undisciplined, while thinness is treated as evidence of self-control, success, and attractiveness.
So when someone feels unhappy in their body, it makes sense that their first instinct is to try to change it.
In many areas of life, this is what we are taught to do. If we are unhappy in a relationship, we try to work on it. If we are struggling at work, we might take a course or build new skills. If something feels uncomfortable, we look for a solution.
And in our capitalist culture, we are often told that if there is a problem, there must be something we can buy to fix it: a diet plan, a workout program, a supplement, a procedure, a new wardrobe, a tracking app.
But when it comes to body image, there are two problems with this approach.
First, the way our bodies look is not as within our control as diet culture would like us to believe.
Second, even when someone does change their body, it often does not bring the peace, confidence, or self-acceptance they expected.
We Don’t Have as Much Control Over Our Bodies as We’re Told
Diet culture tells us that if we just try harder, restrict more, have more willpower, or exercise more, we can eventually achieve the body we want — or the body we’ve been told we should want.
But body size is influenced by far more than food and exercise.
Genetics play a significant role in body weight. Body weight is also influenced by a complex interaction of metabolism, hormones, medications, stress, sleep, socioeconomic factors, early life experiences, and the food environment we live in. Many of these factors are outside of our control.
This does not mean that our behaviours do not matter. But it does mean that body size is not a simple reflection of effort, discipline, or character.
Our bodies also have biological systems designed to regulate weight. After weight loss, the body may respond with increased hunger, changes in hormones, and reduced energy expenditure, making long-term weight maintenance much more complicated than “just keep doing what you were doing.” Research has found that many people regain a significant amount of lost weight over time, not because they failed, but because the body is actively trying to protect itself.
There is also the reality that we cannot fully control the shape of our bodies. We may not be able to change the length of our legs, the width of our hips, the way we carry weight, the texture of our skin, or the proportions of our body.
When we treat our bodies as endless self-improvement projects, we can end up fighting against something that was never fully ours to control.
Does Losing Weight Really Create Positive Body Image?
One question I often ask clients is:
“What do you imagine would be different in your life if your body changed?”
People often say things like:
“I’d feel more confident.”
“I’d start dating.”
“I’d wear the clothes I actually want to wear.”
“I’d stop worrying what people think.”
“I’d finally feel attractive.”
“I’d feel worthy of love.”
These hopes are understandable. Many people are not really chasing a number on the scale. They are chasing freedom, confidence, belonging, ease, and relief from shame.
And for some people, losing weight does improve aspects of body image. Research has found that many people report feeling better about their appearance after weight loss. But feeling better about your appearance isn’t always the same thing as developing a healthier relationship with your body. If feeling okay about yourself depends on maintaining a particular body size, that sense of confidence can remain surprisingly fragile.
But body image is more than how your body looks. It's also about the relationship you have with your body.
Many people continue to struggle with self-criticism, comparison, shame, or fear of weight regain, even after significant weight loss. Others find that the goalposts simply move. They lose weight but decide they need to lose more. Or they become preoccupied with maintaining the weight they have lost.
As discussed earlier, maintaining weight loss is also difficult for many people. Our bodies respond to weight loss by increasing hunger and conserving energy, making it much harder to maintain than most of us have been led to believe. If our confidence depends on maintaining a particular body size, it can leave us feeling like we’re constantly trying to outrun our own biology.
And as we age, our bodies continue to change. Skin changes. Weight distribution changes. Hormones change. Bodies get softer, older, injured, tired, stretched, and lived in. If our body image depends on keeping our body looking a certain way, we may find ourselves in a constant battle with normal human change.
This is why changing your body doesn’t always change your body image.
Body image isn’t just about what you see in the mirror. It’s also about what your body means to you. For many people, the deeper questions sound something like this:
Am I lovable?
Am I worthy?
Do I deserve kindness?
Am I enough?
If the answer to those questions is no, then no amount of weight loss is going to turn them into a yes.
This doesn’t mean improving body image is impossible. It just means that the work often looks different than we’ve been taught. In my next article, I’ll explore what having a healthy body image actually looks like, and why it has much less to do with loving how you look than most people think.
Part 3: What Does Having a Healthy Body Image Actually Look Like?
Evidence behind this Article
This article draws on research examining the genetics of body weight, body weight regulation, and body image.
- Bouchard, C. (2021). Genetics of Obesity: What We Have Learned Over Decades of Research. Obesity.
- Ivezaj, V., et al. (2018). The complexity of body image following bariatric surgery: A systematic review of the literature. Obesity Reviews.
- van Baak, M. A., & Mariman, E. C. M. (2023). Obesity-induced and weight-loss-induced physiological factors affecting weight regain. Nature Reviews Endocrinology.
